You Say You Want A Revolution?

Well, hey--lookee here!

I think once upon a time I wanted a revolution. Now I would settle for a good night's sleep.

What can I say? Time flies. Now, a mere month later, the babe has progressed from scooting to (just yesterday) actual crawling and standing up--holding on to bookshelves, legs, chairs, filing cabinets...you name it. And falling. Lots of falling. And, I am sorry to report, crying.

Someone please shut that baby gate!

Funny how fast babies go from laboriously pulling themselves forward an inch at a time to a super fast scoot!

"The baby's headed down the hall," hollered the dude office manager yesterday. And sure enough, she was--not the hall hall, but the hall to our sink and bathroom. Which would be fine if we didn't keep all kinds of rusty nails and sharp tools under that sink.

Hence the baby gate, which has been held open with a mini bungee cord, lo, all these many months now, waiting for this moment to clang closed.

Next on the list: checking to make sure all the electrical cords are taped together so she can't pull a computer down on her fool head. Because if any baby could do that, this one will.

And Now, For Some Early Morning Math

Last year, if you recall, I fell a little behind in the childcare/school department, and found myself totally screwed looking for someone--anyone--who would take a 2-year-old in fall. Yes, even in Pittsburgh, we have this kind of insanity, apparently; I should have signed her up at birth.

Nevertheless, after some of my women-in-law took pity and turned their formidable nagging on the director of the preschool at their shul, we found a spot, and the girl has--more or less happily--spent the year learning all about manners and how to play in groups. And how "on Shabbat we go to shul / so we can kiss the Torah." That's a real song, by the way.

(Also "Little Sammy spider / lived in a Jewish house..." Which is not; it's just the Itsy-bitsy spider made kosher. But I digress.)

Anyway, all this is fine, except maybe for the part where we're not really Jewish, and therefore headed for some pretty awkward conversations with our toddler pretty soon at this rate. And for the part where there is a much--much, much--nicer school down the road, in which we got a spot for fall. And which is even--score!--a little less expensive, which is not to say inexpensive.

Line one of the math: $848 x 12 months = $10,176.

Line two of the math is that I'm sort of thinking #2 might like a little bit of kid time. I wouldn't say she's a disaster in the office, but she's a little restless. And I'm a little crazed. More about that later.

So let's say she goes somewhere for 6 hours a day, 2 days a week next year. In fact, let's say she goes to learn about Sammy Spider--since that's the only place I could get her in, at this point. (I did make an appointment to tour the Very Nice Place people send babies, but let's face it, I would have needed to put her on the list there the moment I saw the second pink line pop up, and I didn't do that. Probably I should cancel the tour, which isn't for another month anyway.)

So, two days for six hours: $4,330 + $540 (penalty for not being Jewish) (ok, not really--penalty for not being members of the congregation. Same difference, if you ask me. Shiksas always get the short end of the stick.) = $4,870.

Total childcare/education costs for next year: $15,046.

Line 3 of the math would involve what's left over from the money I make after we pay for this, but if I shared that number with you, dear readers--some of whom I know in the real world--I would have to die of embarrassment. Let's just say that if you factor in taxes and making a contribution to my retirement fund, probably I can afford to buy myself something nice. A package of sparkly pencils from the dollar bin at Target maybe, or that latte I've been eyeing.

How to Tell Which Summer Intern to Hire

Yep, it's that time of the year again.

Actually, it's a little later than that time of year. But we're chronically behind. And my biggest criterion is persistence; the internship usually goes to the person who follows up the most.

Not willing to fight for a space? to keep saying, Yoo-hoo, 'member me?

Then I have no use for you anyway. You'll just get neglected, and probably sit and quietly sulk while playing around on facebook, and by the time your internship is over we'll just be waiting for you to leave, and you'll quietly hate us.

So mostly my screening system works--saves everyone a lot of trouble.

Anyway, today's candidate is hired for many reasons:

1. He drove a long distance on the Monday after his graduation from college
2. in a suit
3. with a whole portfolio of his previous work, all covered in plastic sleeves
4. and is willing to move to our city within a week
5. for a non-paying internship
6. which he's maybe willing to work at for a full year

I know. It's almost too good to be true.

And, he didn't even bat an eye when I started nursing my fussy baby to sleep in the middle of our conversation.

Yep: He's a keeper!

It's been 6 months already?

Happy half-birthday to #2! It's funny; in some ways it seems she's always been here (as in, in the world), and in others it seems impossible it's already been so long. In the past two or three weeks, she's officially stopped being an infant; her proportions have changed, and her general manner is so much more person-like. We've started feeding her purees (of apple and pear and squash and peas and plums) and some cereal, all of which she attacks with gusto, though getting it out the other end has sometimes been a challenge. (The Day of the Poop Shrieks was not our best day ever in the office, let's just say. Thankfully, Cute Coworker, who shares my room, was out for that one...)

She's also starting to become more mobile; can get up on her haunches and rock back and forth. Which seems early to me, though truly I've forgotten what's supposed to happen when and am too lazy and uninterested, really, even to do a quick google search. (And does it matter? Will she crawl more/less quickly if I know the general developmental timetable?)

Anyway, probably not coincidentally, six months is when many of these businesses that have, like, policies about babies at work require them to move on out and into daycare.

Though I have to say, with this one, it's not the mobility that is the danger, I don't think. Frankly, I'm hoping when she can sit up on her own, she'll be less frustrated and therefore a little more self-entertaining. (Or at least a little less squealy.) It could happen, right? Maybe?

Another new toy for the office

(Somewhat belatedly, since the baby is now, at almost 6 months, gearing up to crawl.)

On a recent trip to Ikea (love it, hate it, love it), I went a little nuts in the kid department. For the original W.B., at home, I got a tent to play in. And for #2, this playmat (officially, the "Leka"). Sure, I had an old quilt to throw on the filthy office floor, but this was so much cuter. It's padded, and it has a butterfly, and a little frog that squeaks (very softly), and a mirror, and a worm to grab.

The biggest difference between this baby and the last, I think, is that this one is waaaaay into toys. The other was a little more mellow, but #2 gets bored pretty quickly (I do worry about this) and puts everything straight into her mouth (I also worry about this...with the first one, I was pretty vigilant about paper clips, etc., but I also wasn't really worried she would seriously eat them. This one, I'm not so sure.)

Anyway, so the playmat takes up a fair bit of our part of the office, but it's pretty fun. And only $29.99!
ps--notice how the baby is pretty lumpy, still. Makes some noise now and then, but pretty much she stays where you put her. For a little while longer, at least...